I'm in a very Irish mood today. I wrapped myself up in my wool Irish scarf for class, which I do every day but that is beside the point, I bought the film Once for $6.99 today in the campus bookstore, and I've been listening to The Script like no one's business. If I had my Irish blanket I would wrap up in it for my Friday afternoon nap, but alas it is at home on my desk chair so my fleece blanket will have to suffice for now. It's days like these that it would be best if I just locked myself in my room and didn't come out. The only acceptable reason to emerge is if someone Irish was in town or if one of my American acclimatized Irish friends came to visit. For now I have to settle for what I have and pick myself up like always. There is no sense in lying down and missing what is going on around me, but I do like to take a few hours every now and then to think of the city I lived in for a semester.
So it's about 10 hours since I left this. Quite a bit of snow has fallen and I've just returned from seeing Dear John with a couple of good friends. I can't say that I was impressed with the movie. I read the book two years ago but I don't remember the plot line whatsoever. I can say that the only time I cried was at a father-son moment and not even in the chicky romance parts. Also Schuyler Fisk strikes this blog a second time as her duet with Joshua Radin called Paperweight was played more than once during the film and then again at the beginning of the credits. It is now on repeat on my itunes as I sit in the dark in my pajamas in the kitchen with the blinds open so I can see the snow falling against the glow of the street light. I don't exactly know what to say aside from that other than the fact is what I want out of life changes daily and I'm not sure how to cope with it. My uncertainty is the only sure thing for me right now.
Movies always make me super contemplative, unless it's The Hangover. In a round about way I'm going to blame my parents for this, and by blame I should really say credit them. They taught me when I was younger, and I heard it time and time again, that you should be nice to everyone. Sounds like a simple concept, but over the years it has become quite complex. Being nice is not only an act to someone's face but also the thoughts you have in your mind once walking away from them. Everyone judges, I do my fair share, but I have been trying to give people the benefit of the doubt. For real we know very few people well in our lives, and even those that we know well are holding vaults of information inside of them that we may never have access to.
This brings me to a time in Dublin when I was standing in front of the entrance to St. Stephen's Green with a friend and we were just watching tons of people go by. He looked at me and said, "Isn't it crazy to think that all of these people, their lives are just as real to them as our's are to us? We will never know them they won't matter in our lives, to us they're just passing by on the street." I think it's important to consider this and take it into account when actually encountering people. Their life may mean nothing to you, but it means everything to them. A three second or three minute encounter may be all you get in this lifetime but life is made up with many of those. I guess at this point I just wish I had more people in my life that I could be close to instead of just catching up on occasion. I'm in the process of finding myself and what I want, but sometimes it gets a bit lonely and I get quite bored of myself to be honest. I rather enjoy hearing about someone's day or week and looking beyond myself. I like to think that reading about the rest of the world does that, but print on paper only goes so far. This all goes back to what I wrote the other day; I need to focus on the people in my life more than I have been lately. I may not always show it, but they do mean the world to me, they are my world and I love them.
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